A side note about nursing in public

This doesn't have to do with a specific part of the trip, but this challenge was interwoven throughout the whole thing, and reaches beyond just the travel portion of my life. Nursing in public is a hot-button issue, particularly in Western culture where breasts are such a sexualized thing. The whole thing just seems to make the vast majority of people uncomfortable. We think of boobs as sexual objects, so even when they're being used for their primarily designed, utilitarian purpose, everyone gets all scandalized. I get it. In our society, looking at boobs is kind-of a no-no (although a LOT of people do it, obviously, what with the current porn pandemic we've got going on), and it must be quite a temptation when one gets whipped out (indecent exposure!), even if it's mostly covered by a baby head. Because of this, I use a nursing cover out of respect for those around me.

During this trip, Jillian was almost 9 months old. She has been Squirmy McKickengrab her whole life, and that has only intensified as she has grown. The bigger and stronger she gets, the more effective her squirming, grabbing, kicking and climbing get. She's also quite particular and opinionated, especially with regard to body positioning, both in general and while nursing. Add to that a propensity for easy distraction (at its greatest while nursing), and you're asking for trouble when trying to nurse in public with a nursing cover. I think my sense of modesty has progressively decreased as I've nursed, but I do still try to be mindful of those around me. My general feeling is that I'll do my best to stay covered, but if someone gets a flash by accident, whatever. They shouldn't be looking, anyway, and if they are, well, it's just a boob. Probably nothing they haven't seen before. Jillian makes it quite difficult because she's not a fan of the nursing cover, and she can easily pull it off. She thinks it's it's a hilarious game, and invariably laughs once she's uncovered. It's highly frustrating for me, and I've had a few times when I've been tempted to just let her nurse uncovered, but without much of anything really showing. One such a time was on our flight to SLC. I was all the way in the back of the plane, and nobody was really looking. There was a guy across the aisle in the row in front of us who, according to Robert, was trying to sneak a peek, although I didn't catch him. Robert was a little mortified, especially because this trip had such an overall focus on modesty, so our mindset was to show less skin than ever, and certainly not something so taboo. But, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get a baby to eat.

I was determined not to let this trip derail my nursing relationship with Jillian, since the last time we did this, it was the end of nursing with Katherine. She was almost a year old at that point, and had been fighting me on nursing for a couple of months prior to the trip. So, it wasn't the end of the world. But I didn't want to end nursing this early with Jillian. I am proud to say that I was successful in that endeavor, but not without a lot of work. There were several times when I had to abort an attempt to nurse in public (including one time when we were in country and Jillian was being totally uncooperative in the middle of a crowded McDonald's).

So, in summary, nursing in public is complicated, and I wish people weren't so puritanical about something that God designed to be a natural, biological, utilitarian, non-sexual function. Not gonna happen, though, so I'll just soldier on.