The Power of Flexibility

As someone who scores pretty strongly as a "J" on the Myers-Briggs, being a parent presents an extra challenge, in my opinion. I like to have a schedule. I'm a planner. I like to know how things are going to go. I get an idea in my mind of how the day is going to play out, and I like to stick to it as much as possible. That's my nature.

Of course, things don't always go according to plan. That's inevitable. But, having children multiplies exponentially the possibility of reality differing from expectations. If you're planning to stay home all day, getting off schedule isn't such a big deal, since you have a fair amount of control over your environment. But, throw in an event you have to attend that starts at a time incompatible to the routine, and you're asking for a challenge.

Kids naturally thrive when they're on a schedule. This works out well for a J-type. BUT, they also couldn't possibly care less about the schedule mommy may need to keep. I try to work my life around their schedules as much as possible, but they're experts at throwing a wrench into the cogs of the well-oiled machine I plan out. Let's say I'm supposed to be somewhere at 9:00am, with a 45-minute drive time, and hope Jillian will take a nap while I'm there until 11:00 (which would be within her normal naptime range at the moment). She decides to wake up early. Or late. She doesn't sleep while we're there. Or, she falls asleep in the car on the way there or back and takes only the briefest of naps. Or, she falls asleep late there, with the same result. This throws off her eating schedule, too, and perhaps affects whether or not she'll sleep through the night (a rarity at the moment). And so on, and so forth.

This is where flexibility comes in. I don't believe one can be a parent and hold onto sanity without learning to roll with the punches. If you can't be willing to discard your plans and/or learn to let some stuff go with the kids' eating/sleeping/whatever, you will drive yourself stark raving mad. Seriously. Every day, I learn to go against my natural tendencies, or risk constant disappointment over unmet expectations. I do it because I love my children, and that's what's best for the family. It's not about me.

I think one (parent or otherwise) must take a similar tack when interacting with God. He's not overly concerned about my plans. He's got a plan of his own. I end up with a lot less cognitive dissonance if I'm willing to let my own expectations go and roll with whatever He's got going on instead. Easier said than done, but I strive to do it every day, just like I do with my kids.

This came into play pretty seriously during the trip, and I promise to get back to posting about that soon. It's been a busy week, and will continue to be. Never a dull moment!